Mindful Communication

We are social beings and thrive on togetherness, however, in everyday life we may encouter diverse individuals with complex backgrounds, personalities and behaviours. Just as we may have been through a lot in our life, they too may have been through various psychosocial challenges, and just as we may have been wounded, they may also be having scars.

      Therefore, we are bound to get triggered in relating with others, and we may not always agree on issues or we may be lacking in communication skills. The other person may  equally be limited and not be the best of communicators and rub you the wrong way (often unintentionally). It is common when we face unpleasant situations to feel disheartened, provoked, ashamed, frustrated, defensive, angry or irritable etc.

   Mindful communication enables us to become more flexible in the way we respond to situations. So, next time you encounter an unpleasant situation that may trigger you use S P P & R = Stop, Pause, Process & Respond:

1. Stop! 

2. Pause: pausing gives you an opportunity to soften, calm yourself down, and expand your awareness deeper into your body (E.Goldstein). It helps you not to run into conclusions; you can't read minds, so avoid pre-determining what you think the other person is intending to say, rather, notice when you are tempted to interrupt the other person or your tendencies to get into a shouting competition in efforts to put your point across. 

3. Process: take a deep breath, observe and notice what’s going on, notice your bodily sensations, identify the emotion you are feeling, acknowledge the emotion, where are you feeling it?  ask yourself: Did i hear that right? Could i have misunderstood what i thought i heard or saw? Could I seek more clarity for the person to repeat themselves? (often we hear what we want to hear, and perceive things as we are, not as they are; perceptions tend to impair judgement and rational thinking; influences our cognition, emotions and behaviours). 

4. Respond: ask yourself; "do i need to respond? does it have to be now? Is it crucial for me to respond right now? Is it even worth responding  at all?, what does my response have to be like? will it build us? Does it bring a solution? What's the worst that could happen if  I do not respond now?  whats the worst that could happen if I REACT  instead of responding?, will it escalate instead of de-escalating the situation/tension which may lead to unecessary conflict?, Will it matter  days from now?

Thank you for listening, continue to respond differently! https://www.buzzsprout.com/1813802/episodes/16836444

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