BATTLING WITH GAMBLING ADDICTION?
Updated: Oct 8
Compulsive Gambling Behaviour
Just like any form of addiction, gambling habit may be challenging for some to overcome, quitting the habit may appear simple to many, but addiction is a chronic brain disease and gambling often gets complicated if it’s accompanied by substance use disorders such as alcohol dependency. What’s worth noting is the fact that to overcome addiction starts with the realization and admission by an individual that a problem exists; “the problem or compulsive gambler first has to genuinely want to quit gambling. That’s easier said than done”. Many gamblers with gambling addiction don’t easily admit or realize that they have a problem, despite often having family members complaining about the habit. Similarly, many never even want to go for therapy even when they start noticing a severe pattern of the gambling behaviour. They remain in denial and between Pre-contemplation and contemplation stage for years whilst in the meantime gambling away their livelihoods. They always have a good reason to justify staying on or going back to gambling. When the realization develops that the habit has become an addiction, often that is just in theory and “often only a fleeting desire and not compelling enough for them to start taking action”.
It takes a lot of work for an individual to quit the habit, even when they hit rock bottom, they always believe, one more gambling event will enable them to win big and regain their asserts, status and then, and, “only then I will completely quit”. However, It’s not everybody who becomes addicted to gambling, often for some it is motivated by the need for money; whilst for others, it starts as a hobby, desire to hang out, trying to cope with stress, avoiding to address family issues, or just as a sport etc. The reasons can be as varied as there are gamblers.
The common excuses people with gambling addiction use to justify the behaviour may be similar to the following and more:
“It’s my money anyways”
“I have this under control, I can stop whenever I want”
“I don’t really have that big a problem, my situation is better than so and so.”
“I can quit anytime I want.”
“My gambling isn’t hurting anyone.”
“What I do is my own business.”
“My family has no right telling me what to do”
“I don’t need shrinks prying into my affairs.”
“No way am I going to some rehab clinic filled with addicts.”
“I don’t have the money to pay for treatment and my insurance won’t cover it.”
“I don’t need a counsellor; counselling is for drug addicts and crazy people”
“Am still managing my finances and my family has never lacked despite my gambling”
“I do it only to kill time, its only out of boredom”
“Am better than those who drink alcohol”
“Am still in control of my life, I still go to work on time”
"I am managing"
and the list can be endless
Usually there are various reasons people convince themselves and others about why they can’t or won’t go for counselling or why they can’t overcome their gambling habit. The most important thing to remember is that, just like in any form of addiction; until someone is ready to genuinely admit that they need help and want to address the behaviour or quit the gambling permanently; and are prepared to do something about it; no amount of talking, scolding shouting or forced treatment can effectively work. If it does, it may just be a temporary thing quickly to be followed by a relapse. Moreover, in any form of addiction, relapse is inevitable, so it takes self-determination, evidence-based treatment and family support for one to overcome addiction, including the gambling addiction.
Myths or unhelpful believes about the gambling habit
Having awareness about some myths and/or assumptions associated with gambling is essential, such assumptions may include the following, and remember such myths may actually be traps to keep you hooked on the gambling behaviour, and once you buy into them, it will become more difficult to overcome the gambling habit.
Willpower isn’t enough: The myth that willpower will get you out of compulsive gambling behaviour, is just that; a myth because the fact is that willpower may not sustain you for long, it may only last until the next urge, or until something else in your life goes wrong and triggers you back into the gambling habit. Try telling an alcoholic or any person with SUD (substance use disorder) that willpower will get them out of the addiction and see how well that works out. Often the more you try to convince yourself that without professional help you are strong enough to quit gambling; the more that seems to reinforce the desires to go back into gambling and the more your feelings of worthlessness, remorse and guilt intensifies, triggering you back into the gambling cycle.
You can’t manage your gambling: Another assumption for people with gambling addiction is the myth that they can somehow keep their gambling under control, they can “Manage it”. This usually will manifest in statements like:
“I will only gamble on weekends or a certain specific day”, or “once a week”, or
“I will stick to certain budget and not exceed the amount” or
“I will place a ban” and/or self-restriction for a specific period of time.
The challenge with addiction is that one needs professional help and treatment for obsessive compulsion to gamble which has taken over their lives.
The habit has and still continues to ruin many lives; their finances, relationships, asserts, social lives, jobs resulting in debts and psychological challenges. The believe that you can “manage it” is a deception. Seek counselling.
You’re not sick: Though there are differing views as to whether gambling addiction just like substance use disorders is a chronic brain disease, by maintaining the attitude that people must accept you for who you are, because your gambling is a disease works as an excuse just to keep you in the habit. Gambling addiction is a type of impulse-control disorder and it’s completely treatable. We are responsible for our thoughts and our behaviours, so one must stop saying; “It’s not my fault, it’s a disease and I can’t help it.” Change that mindset and that assumption because it won’t do you any good, but just delay you from seeking professional help to overcome your gambling habit.
Ways to successfully address your gambling Behaviour
There are various models of Behavioural change, this six stage model is commonly used in the processes of change wherein people usually apply not only the cognitive , but the affective and evaluative process in trying to change negative behaviour.
image source: LaMorte.W.W (2019). The Transtheoretical Model (Stages of Change)
The following strategies, techniques and beliefs are essential for you to successfully overcome your gambling habit. These are easy to learn an incorporate into your life through counselling, treatment, behavioural therapy, support meetings and practice.
Take back your personal power: You’ve relinquished your power to the gambling habit, it has taken control and you just follow directives/urges. But through treatment, you can learn how to take back the power through consequential thinking, mindfulness and having awareness of triggers, take back the power to make your own decisions, instead of having your addiction control you and/or make decisions for you.
Effective stress coping strategies: Many people with gambling addiction when experiencing stress in their lives use gambling as an escape to cope. Learning better and effective techniques to cope with day-to-day stressful situations is essential; establish and learn new strategies such as Progressive Muscle relaxation technique, journaling, talk therapy, addressing the critic in you, positive self-talk, physical cognitive distractions etc.
Negative self-labeling: Labeling yourself as an addict just reinforces the habit; its self-defeating, self-perpetuating and self-justification for the behaviour. Yes, you have the gambling habit and you are doing something constructive about it. Visualize and change your self-perception by starting to view and think of yourself as someone in the recovery process than a defeated addict.
Visualization: Envision a future full of possibilities and free of an addictive lifestyle. Everyone needs to have goals, something to focus on and have the determination to see it fulfilled. Learn to imagine your life free of gambling behaviour, a life worth enjoying and full of possibilities.
Mend relationships: Often due to compulsive gambling behaviour many people, friends and family members get hurt. Try to make amends; repair the drift, and rebuild close relationships. Remember it’s the gambling behaviour that they were against and did not like, not you as a person.
Re-find meaning for your life: find your deep life purpose; your reason for existence, why are you here? Whats your passion and what deeper purpose does your life hold? Through envisioning, meditation, counselling/ talk therapy you can re-discover what truly holds meaning for you. This will serve as a foundation upon which to re-build your future. Reconnect to your values and principles or form new ones.
Change your mindset: Our perceptions of who we are and our potential, or our self-concept many a times if its negative will result in self-defeating irrational thoughts. Therefore, it’s important for you to learn to stop thinking that you’re forever a doomed gambling addict, or that it’s too late to change. Instead, learn to recognize the positive attributes that you possess and work on developing and fostering them. Positive self-image, positive self-concept, improve your self-esteem etc.
Use your mental/cognitive functioning power: Give yourself credit, use your cognitive and/or mental power to help you work through various intense emotions and irrational thoughts. Mindfulness and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) will help you channel your energies purposefully and consequential thinking will help you address impulsive behavioural actions and decisions. These strategies can help you remain on the recovery process and achieve your goals.
No more lying: This simple practice has to become embedded in your life. You must learn to tell the truth in all situations. Practice being truthful, this will be difficult at first but with time and practice it will become possible to be honest, and the more you tell the truth, the easier it will become.
Be in control of what you say and how you say it. Practice mindfulness. This will help you take back your personal power, being in control means that you make it an inner belief. Learn self-regulation, mindfulness and self-management techniques.
Understand why you’ve been stuck: Establish what initially triggered you into gambling; What caused you to get into gambling, what drew you to gambling establishments, what perpetuated the habit until it became an addiction? Was it for financial gain, what was going on in every area of your life at that time, at your workplace, in your relationships, in your family, in your finances etc and once you’ve identified your triggers you can now replace them with new behaviours; All behaviours are learnt and can be unlearnt. For example; maybe it was the drinking of alcohol that lead you to gambling outlets, and whilst there the temptation to try out machines emerged, or maybe you were in debts and thought if you gambled you could win and clear your debts etc
Awareness of triggers: is critical for your successful recovery, pay attention as urges and cravings emerge at every opportunity they get. learn to address them, and have the awareness of what was going on in your mind, your life at the time the urges popped up. That will help you to monitor and address them through positive self-talk and other strategies.
Rebuild your self-esteem: Gambling addiction lowers one’s self-esteem though many a times the habit develops due to low self-esteem. Through counselling, discussions, lectures, group exercises, meditation and other therapies its possible for you to rebuild your sense of self; self-confidence and self-esteem.
Address guilt, shame and deprivation: All these are negative constructs that have no place in your life in your journey to recovery, learn to recognize them when they seek to take over your cognition and how to banish them forever.
Learn to manage your money: Maybe you’ve left a swath of financial ruin; Perhaps you’ve lost everything, including home and personal possessions. You probably owe a great deal of money to many creditors, including personal loans from family and friends. You will learn how to manage your money and put your finances back on track through practical techniques and making arrangements with everyone you owe on how you could pay them back in installments till you are cleared.
Identify bad habits and learn how to replace them with good ones: Habits are rooted in repetitive behaviours. Not all habits are bad, and you will learn to differentiate between the bad ones and the good ones. Replace negative habits with constructive new ones.
Take responsibility for your problems: Being honest and in control of your circumstances means that you take full responsibility for your problems, your actions, your behaviour holistically, and not just your gambling habit. Once you take ownership of your problems, you can work on solving them. Learn new problem-solving skills and apply them to your life.
to live on your own terms, free of dependencies: You may not be able to see this as a reality until you are many months past treatment and into recovery. But it is a goal to strive for. In fact, you probably can’t even imagine being free of your gambling addiction. You will, if you choose to keep to the two basic requirements: sincerely wanting to quit gambling and doing whatever hard work it takes to make that happen. In fact, related to bad habits are other dependencies that you may also choose to address such as drinking, smoking, overeating, etc.
Recovery stage: view recovery as a process and not an overnight event. See your future as being limitless and with possibilities inclusive of regained sense of self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence, fully in control, taking responsibilities, loving yourself, self-acceptance and building close meaningful relationships and the ability to pursue your dreams; these are what you can look forward to in your recovery. In short, your life in recovery will be every bit as rewarding and exciting as you want it to be.
#Remember, you are in control of your life. Make it what you truly want it to be; Don’t forget to keep addressing your irrational and negative thoughts:
We are the product of our thoughts; “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”.
In brief, you are the driver of your own life, the power to transform it is within your hands and how much you desire to see change in your life; “be the change that you want to see in your life”.
References
Operation Clean Recovery (2018, February 23). Overcoming Gambling Addiction https://www.addiction.com/3200/overcome-gambling-addiction/
Barbara, Y. (2022, March 18). How to overcome Gambling Addiction. Retrieved from
Be Gamble Aware (2020, April8).6 Ways to Overcome Gambling Addiction. Retrieved from
Admin. (1989). How to Overcome a Gambling Addiction. In Our Gambling News. Retrieved from https://www.daizucms.org/how-to-overcome-a-gambling-addiction/
Adminone: Onelowell.net (2022, March 20).How to Overcome a Gambling Addiction. Retrieved from https://www.onelowell.net/how-to-overcome-a-gambling-addiction/
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